satoriasis

Tomorrow am (ok. Today..) we meet the in-laws in Holyoke forThe Great Kid Ditchery! Then we flee west with celerity towards the vaguely brown fields of Cooper's lake Campground in Western PA. There will be historical geekery, debauchery, drummery, schmoozery and work. Yay for vacations where you don't actually rest!

Yeah. I know. I signed up for it. Can't frigging wait! Time for sleeps.

Ok, Here's the story...

Way back in HS I asked a girl out. Got shot down because her dad didn't like her dating. Apparently she was anything but inactive at the time and was wishing I'd drag her off to the woods or some other private place. Anyhoo...

18 or 19 years later, we reconnect chatting on facebook. we take the same silly quiz on how good you are in bed. She scores "Good" and I score "Incredible" (naturally...) So we begin comparing notes and it becomes clear that she's been missing something VERY IMPORTANT. 

Nice to know she's having fun!

http://doglickingscreen.com/

Just click!

I had a second interview this morning with a granite company reasonably close to home. they hired me and I start tomorrow!

It will be a combination position with elements of sales, supervisory, fabrication, templating, repair and whatever else needs doing. I get a reasonable salary plus commission on sales,

Yay!

Yeah... I shaved my head. The vast majority of my friends and "friends" have a clear image of my skull covered in brown curls. The chicks dig it and I admit to it being probably my best feature.

Why did I shave it?

Damned if I know! I've had the urge to do so since last October or so. I've even threatened or at least floated the idea here and there, to mixed response.

This past Memorial Day I sat down in my barber's chair intending to get another nondescript short haircut like last time. As Pedro began putting on the smocky thingie, random whim overtook me and I said "Shave it!". He said "What? Seriously?" I said "Yeah. Seriously." 

"Like a baby's ass?"

"Yeah Pedro. Like a Baby's ass"

"...OK"

Overall I like the look. I don't have a bullet head and my skull is kinda square and blocky with some cool ridges. I think I will keep it for the summer and see how much longer I want to maintain it. The process feels interesting and I got a headblade, which looks like a little toy car and is an excuse to go "Vrooooom!" in the shower...

Vroom, I say!
 

 

So here I am, Still awake at 2:15 when i need to get up around 6 with the kids and then do work the rest of the day, I have this totally awesome problem called Acid reflux where the sphincter a the top of my stomach basically went on strike years ago and is whimsical at best and malicious at worst about when and how it works.

On a normal night I take care not to eat an hour or 2 (even better) before bedtime or I wake up 15 minutes later aspirating my own stomach contents. Usually this works ok and I manage to make it through the night without an uncomfortable juxtaposition of digestive fluid and lung tissue. Not tonight!

As I try to get to sleep I realize that I haven't actually eaten since around 8, so I am having mild hunger pangs accompanied by an anticipatory increase in stomach acid. This means I have a lot more fluid of the hurty and burny sort sloshing around and lying down to sleep would be whatcha call in the medical biz a "Dumb Fucking Call

So here I sit, carefully upright waiting for zantac and tums to do something so I can get a little sleep tonight. Joy.

I really need to get my ass to a doctor soon, once the medical insurance kicks in. Last year I had biopsies done of a couple scary lumps in the area in question and they turned out to not be cancerous. I could very well not be lucky another time. Esophageal cancer is a nasty one with a sucky prognosis. "Sure you can live, but you get to eat for the rest of your life through a feeding tube that bypasses your mouth!'

Being a bit of a foodie, that would truly draw vacuum.

As some of you may know, I have begun on a new project with one or 2 dimensions.

The original idea was to start a Junk Percussion ensemble with a particular musical direction. My first inspiration is Japanese Taiko with it's tight group layering of rhythms. Next, I want to bring in some of the intensity of early Industrial music with it's heavy beats and jarring sound vocabulary. Finally, considering my own musical background, I want to work in the odd, off time rhythms of middle eastern music, particularly the challenging stuff from the Turkish and Balkan traditions.

I want to make it danceable to a degree, both for club goers and bellydancers. I also want to make it harsh enough to mosh to if those types are inspired. I want to convey a message of recycling and Green philosophy  without being cloying or preachy. I want to demonstrate my basic asertion that everything (and everyone..) is a drum if struck correctly.

The Rules? No instrument can have been originally intended to be an instrument. The vast majority of materials must have been found or scrounged from things that would have been otherwise discarded. Sticks, duct tape, bailing wire, paint or other decorations can certainly be purchased.

Visually I am looking for a post modern sensibility with a bit of rivethead. Black and grey with yellow and black diagonal striped tape for a touch of brightness. the occasional biohazard, radioactive or recycling symbol spraypainted on and the nusicians themselves dressed in a paramilitary, punk or rivethead tone.

Pretentious? Contrived? Certainly, but that is sorta the point. Not to mention that I happen to own far too many pairs of black fatigue pants....

Much of the above is negotiable, at least the visual aspect. My vision for the sound is pretty clear and I need to find people interested in working within my guidelines. I put an ad on Craigslist in Hartford and New Haven and got a good half dozen responses. Heartening, until I tried to get the people together for an actual meeting, then no response.

I am trying a new approach. I have set up a community junk drum circle at a nearby arts and performance space in the 26th of april and if I get a decent response, I will be doing it on a regular basis. The circle if it is a hit, would be fun in and of itself, but I fully intend to mine the attendees for select talent to rope into my original plan.


Is this cynical of me or merely pragmatic? I admit to not being a fan of drum circles as a general thing. I am too much of a middle eastern music snob to not be annoyed ad artless pounding in a large group to produce little more than a wall of noise. I an hoping that the non trad basis of this style will help me to get the hell over it and let me enjoy something I've held in mild contempt for years.

I hope I can at least be good at this. I seem to have, to my own confusion, developed some measure of charisma in the last decade or so and I am able to brazen ny way through my innate shyness (Yes, folks! I am shy!) to get stuff done. I do truly want to do this well and make the effort fulfilling for the attendees even if I intend to cherry pick individuals for a project I hope to eventually profit from. It would rock if the circle could get tight and interesting enough to branch out to public things, maybe doing parades or Earth Day festivals.

Now to the request for ideas...


I do eventually want to name whatever band may grow out of this. I have had some ideas:

Throbbing Junk (An homage to the seminal Industrial group Throbbing Gristle, as well as sounding naughty and slightly offensive... OI!!!!)

Junk Science, (which turns out to be the name of a rather cool NYC hip hop duo. If they were on the other side of the country, I may fell ok in using the name, but I actually kinda like them and may want to see a show sometime.)

The Junk Science Percussion Ensemble (Probably the best so far, even if it would be a challenge to put on a poster)

I could also make up something amusing and have it translated into German, the home language of everything pretentious and industrial... "Arrogant Garbage Banging"?

Naahhh

Any ideas? If I use someone's idea they get a free pass into one of our no doubt heavily attended performances and a free copy of our highly desired CD release!

*snort*

Martin

Not sure how I feel about this... http://www.eyeborgproject.com/blog/

I played WAYYYY too much Cyberpunk back in the day, I guess.

The whole Human Potential and Transhumanism thing is pretty cool. There's this guy...
http://www.bmezine.com/news/guest/20060331.html

One of my duties when running the door at my current Gentlemen's club is to hang onto the cordless phone and answer the three or so calls that may come in on any given night.

Me: "Good evening, ***********" How may I help you?"

Him: "Yeah...Can I talk to a manager?"

Me: "Sure. Hold on. Let me look around for him" Looking around for manager. Not there. "Sorry, I don't see him right now. can I take a message?"

Him: "Umm..Yeah. I was there last friday and I think one of your girls may have given me herpes"

*long pause for self control breathing*

Me: "Let me put you on hold and look for him. He has to be around here somewhere" *Puts on hold*

*Pause to explain to the bartender why I just burst out laughing*

Manager still not evident.

Me: "I don't see him. He may have stepped out for a few. You should stop by between noon and 6 on a weekday and talk to the owner. maybe he can help you. "

Him: "Ok. I'll do that."

He hangs up and immediately, demonstrating a psychic prescience, the manager shows up.

There is really no way he could have gotten genital herpes here. This is a very tightly controlled club and the lapdances are well monitored. If he were wearing a g string himself I could see it happening, but it is winter and people wear pants. Even if this club had a reputation for what are termed "extras" we wouldn't allow them because a skanky little dive down the road just got shut down (again) for prostitution and the owner, manager, bouncer and 2 dancers all got arrested. Everyone is walking on glass and being very careful.

Do I feel bad for laughing behind his back? Not really. While I am not happy that someone got herpes, I am amused by the stupidity of someone who would put himself in a position with a stripper where such a thing could have a chance of happening.

Don't ever breed, my friend. For so many reasons.

Martin

Despite Jeff's herculean efforts on my behalf, it seems that spices, fudge and coffee at Wicked just ain't happening. I wish I could just attend and make coffee in my room to share with friends, but my account balance tells me it is not to be.

Much thanks to Jeff and all for putting together such an awesome event and I will begin plotting and scheming for next year's event. if it is at the same hotel, I will think of something else I could hustle.

I will be joining my dear wife at NonCon at Poughkipsee, a small, more standard scifi thing run by a local college group.

I will be thinking of naughtier, more Wicked times....


Have fun all

Apparently I am fat and old!

My mother in law bought us a 2 month pass for a local lasertag place in lieu of paying for the kids' track at Arisia this year, which we did not attend. Lots of fun. Lots of sweat! I feel absolutely wrecked. It's been a long time since I did this much running about, crouching and stretching around corners to shoot from cover. I hurt all over!

Even with something like 8 hrs of sleep I am wiped and need much, much more.

maybe I need to get back into SCA heavy list to try and stay in shape...

Once again I have been hired to bounce evenings at a "gentlemens' club. I different one this time, one that does not make it's bouncers act as barbacks after a long shift of standing up and dealing with idiots. Easier work and a bit more money.

I may blog if anything significant happens. I may blog it anyway.

Or not.

No promises ;-]

I just got a call back on a job I interviewed for and I start Monday! It is a full time granite countertop sales position with a small but determined to grow company that is reasonably local to me. It starts with a small salary which decreases after 4 weeks and goes to nothing in 4 more weeks, but I will be pretty clear by then whether or not it will work by then.

Unemployment sucks! I am gaining weight and becoming even less motivated. Having a new job in the industry I love and selling a material I know inside and out will go a long way towards improving my mood and disposition

Also, we went to our hearing today for the eviction process and the landlord agreed to a payment program. Essentially the same one we defaulted on in December, but this time we are better positioned to make the payments.

I'm stoked for Wicked Faire and my job is flexible enough that I can get off early on friday and drive before the traffic becomes truly monstrous.

Yay!


Martin

I had a good first interview with the HR lady for a local mega grocery warehouse. The position is as a Time Study Coordinator, which is primarily doing studies and graphs of the efficiency of various warehouse operations. I think my foot in the door is the fact that I did the selector job at a similar facility a few years ago,only washing out due to recurrent knee gimpiness.The job requires good PC skills, good math skills, and a willingness to occasionally enter the freezer. Not great pay to start,but it's weekdays, full time and permanent. The company recently took on two new chains to supply, so business is growing and opportunities to advance after my 90 days review seem solid.

Today I visited admissions for The Center For Culinary Arts. Cooking is one of my major passions and I seem to be developing into a full-blown food nerd, as my discussion with the admissions guy (a former sous chef) would indicate. I am trying to get some funds through the state as part of my unemployment stuff, but it is a long dance and I may not be done with it by the next session starting in April. Just looking at possibilities and regretting not getting onto this career path before I developed adult responsibilities. There are lots of dues to pay before nailing a sweet gig in a kitchen, and they may be more than my family can bear.Just looking for now.

Still working through eviction,mainly as a huge stalling tactic. Apparently,my landlord made a massive fail in not naming my wife and kids in the eviction paperwork. This means that if he isn't willing to play ball and work out something, she can file a claim of exemption to delay things even longer. The ideal situation is that we get delayed for a month or three and find another place and save the money to move. Here's to hope!

That's it for the moment, I guess.

No further marshall visits since last Monday. Not sure how my landlord wants to proceed with this eviction thing, since we haven't heard from him.

Filed my first continuing claim with unemployment on Sunday. Let's see how long it takes to get a check...

I have an appointment next wednesday with a local culinary school, I think it's attatched to the one Lalitadasa goes to down in Florida, but not sure. Just seeing what my schooling and financing options. Since I am unemployed, broke and the economy sucks ass for job hunters, there is a chance I can get up to 3k from the state for schooling, not to mention what I may be able to get from the school itself or other programs.

Really, I just want a socially acceptable excuse for playing with knives and fire.

Aside from that, not much else.

Thems of you what knows da numba, can reach me by my cell phone for the time being.

What pics of me show up on the internet.

Our cable/internet/phone provider, Cox, wants money. Like just about everyone else. Today they seem to have shut off our phone service. Just the phone service. Not the internet or cable (yet.) In other similar instances, they have shut everything down at once,.

Odd. The phone is the one means of connection we really need, since it is how the various state agencies and potential employers are going to get a hold of us.

I dunno. Lauren gets a check today that while part-time and meager, may be enough to propitiate them.

I am too psyched to continue with the tired analogy. I guess I'm only creative when really bitter and annoyed.

Went back to unemployment at 1 and the only phone (3 cubicles with chairs, 1 phone) was being used by another exasperated soul. I was told to wait a while, so I sat down to reread "Dearly Departed Dexter" (Read it! Awesome book!) I sat there for 15 minutes while the dude next to me was on hold, went to use the restroom, sat down for another 10 \, then the woman at the desk waved me deeper into the office and quietly set me up at a phone in someone's cubicle. "Shhhh! Don't let anyone know I did this"

And so the dialing began figure I dialed the number around 50 times, no redial button this time, and got through the busy circuits 1 out of 10 times. Somewhere around dial number 49, the secretary snuck in and asked for my SS#. She was on the phone with the supervisor of the drones I was attempting to contact and was trying to put me directly on with him. As she went back to her own phone, I  finally got into  the cue to wait for a representative. The message gave me an estimated 24 minutes to wait, which by that point would have been fineby me.

5 minutes later, my new friend stuck her head around the corner and said "Really don't let anyone know I'm doing this, but press line 3"

Yippee!

10 minutes later, I was all set. My benefits wou't really be enough by themselves, but with my wife's part time stuff and whatever side work, paid cash (Yes. I am a bad, bad cheating the government type person) I can get. we just might make it. I am pretty sure we will still be evicted, but we an fight that long enough to stall and find another place.

Phew

Today is Wednesday, the designated day for those with my Social Security number to attempt yet again to file their initial claim for Unemployment benefits.

I decided to wait until 10, my theory being to try after the initial rush that ties up the lines at the beginning of the morning.  I got through about 20 attempts and got the message that all circuits are busy before suspecting that something was wrong and calling my phone company. The helpful operator (A young lady with a delightful, singsong Indian accent) dialed it for me and it went straight through.

Score!

I breezed through the initial automated series of 20 questions with no problem and a quivering sense of anticipation awaited my entry into the pink pearlescent delights of the cue that lets me speak to an actual human being.

"Due to a high call volume, please try your call again later. Thank you" Then the call ended...

AAAARRRRGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHG!

*ahem*

I had been advised by those fortunate souls to have consummated this act that frequent, machinegun-like attempts to thrust within can yield satisfaction. I began to call over and over, yet was continuously cockblocked by the "All circuits are busy, please try your call again later" message. When denied entry, it is often good to work a different angle, (if ya know what I mean). I gave the previously successful technique another go. When I spoke to yet another Indian accent, she informed me that having the operator dial for me would cost $2.25 for the first minute and $0.25 for each minute thereafter. The first lady failed to mention this.

Reports suggest that I could be in for a wait well over 2 hrs once into the cue. While a lengthly session an be greatly satiating, I have never actually paid for it. I do not intend to begin now, especially considering the sorry state of my finances.

More radical methods would seem to be necessary. Perhaps a change in venue would wear down the defenses? I drove down to our loan storefront unemployment office to use their phone system. The helpful lady told me that once I let the system know that I want to use English, I can "zero through" to the cue for a representative. Great!

Not great, because even from their direct line, all circuits were still busy. This puzzled her. I soldiered on, poking, prodding and thrusting my thick fingers at the delicate, tender protrusion of the redial button and was finally rewarded with a familiar voice.

"Due to a high call volume, if you have been directed to speak to a representative,please call back after 1 pm." By this point it was 11:50

My financial balls are a deep shade of blue right now. i will once again drive over at 1 and give the old girl another shot.

*grumble*

So I made it through the automated system this morning, answering the 20 questions with ease. The friendly voice of the computer lady then told me that due to a high call volume, I would have to call back another time. The electronic bitch wouldn't even give me the option of waiting for an hour and listening to muzak.

Joy
Joy
Joy